A person has many attributes to them (including, of course, an identity. An identity is what other people think we are), but it is important to know what they are without them.
As the old saying goes, “All people are people but some are not.” People differ in the way their brains are wired, and the way they process information. Some people have more of a need to define themselves than others. Others have such strong feelings about their identity that being recognized for themselves will feel like the hardest thing in the world (I’m a woman of color, for example.) But in both cases, the person doesn’t get to decide for them.
The only way to learn what we actually are, in the end, is through experiences. People don’t always have to make assumptions about each other to get a sense of identity, but they sometimes do it even if they aren’t aware of it (or don’t want it to be obvious!). This is a good and important thing to know, and the most important thing for us all to realize.
So how do you learn what you really are without having to make assumptions? Here are some tactics.
Know your limits
I’ve written about how and why we cannot make assumptions about others.
When you talk about your identity, you have to keep in mind that there is a spectrum of things your identity describes. If you want to be an individual, you must be able to define yourself in your own way. If someone else says you are a woman of color, for example, you have to realize that you might not get that response, or it maybe may not be what you really want to hear. There are many different genders (and many different colors) in America, and they all have different identities. We must recognize that, at some point in our lives, we must define ourselves as individuals.
Identify your passions
I have had numerous conversations with others about what their passions are in order to figure out what they are. For example, one of my friends told me that he was a writer. That’s all he ever wanted to do was write and I always knew he just wanted to express himself in an artistic way. He started a blog about it, and has written nearly two million words so far.
What is your passion?
Identify your strengths
People have different opinions of themselves because of their different strengths. Some people like to work on projects (work has always been a major focus
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